apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
