Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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