hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
