he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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