did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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