I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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