You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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