Can Purell be used as lube?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Congratulations! We have a period
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
