I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
