But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i now understand why vodka
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
