just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
