ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
