Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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