Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
