Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
