He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I will pee on everything he values.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
