im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
sex in a hospital.. check
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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