So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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