mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
