so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
