just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
