Pregnant stripper...not hot.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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