Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
