I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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