i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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