So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
