Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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