i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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