we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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