ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
