sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Randomize
