i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
