he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
