my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
