yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
