do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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