I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
