There r osticjed everywhere
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
