I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
