i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
