If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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