the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
