your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
