you will always have a special place in my vag
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
