i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
