I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
