The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
