Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
