Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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