I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
