dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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