he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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