It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
