your parents love me but you hate me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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